I’ve Been Gone All Summer and I Think It’s For the Greater Good

So here’s the deal: about a year ago, mid-to-late-July, 2013, Science Club recommitted itself to being Science Club. Joe Pelone left the band to start a family, and Joe Delo joined the band mostly because he likes playing drums. In the 365 days since, Science Club has enjoyed the most success it ever has.

It’s been a very good year, and now we’re going to celebrate.


5 – 8PM

Here’s why you should give a shit:

Screwjack – On the one hand, Jared Adams is entirely responsible for Screwjack, seeing as he writes all the music, sings all the songs and performs the whole thing himself. In another, much more real sense, Screwjack is entirely Science Club’s fault. One of Jared’s first ever proto-Screwjack performances took place as the opening act for Science Club at the Tritone (RIP). Years later, Screwjack would rear its head at the Fall Classic, covering Notorious B.I.G songs and generally pushing the bounds of good taste. More recently, SJ played a gig in NYC on Science Club’s behalf when the band had to bail on a gig.

What I’m saying here is this: Science Club is a benevolent god, and that fucker Jared should be glad to swim in our wake.

(Don’t believe anything I just said. Jared’s old-time, sadcore country music reeks of ill-advised sex, is soaked in too much cheap alcohol and will make you feel like you’ve aged 30 years. He also plays a song about blowjobs that I’m told is quite funny.)

Lucky 33 – I wouldn’t be so bold as to say that Lucky 33 is the only punk band that exists in Syracuse, NY, it just feels that way. These goddamn dudes have been everywhere, playing with everyone. Look at their Facebook page, they’re jamming out shows all the friggin’ time. We first met them on the Science Club / Sexy Teens tour, and they were more accommodating, more welcoming than anyone could reasonably expect to be. We’re stoked to bring them to Philadelphia, not just because they are aces people, but because they bring the fucking thunder.

Early Show – We’re a day-job punk band. We can’t afford to be rock and rolling all night. We’ve got beds to sleep in. We’ve got church in the morning. We’re out of shape and old as all fuck (well, Nate is. Nick seems pretty fit and Joey is chisled out of marble). We barely want to be out until 11pm playing music, and I know you don’t want to be out all night listening to us. So we’re in by 5:30, we’re out by 8, everyone gets drunk while the sun is still out, and no one feels like a foot the next day.

This show is going to have it all. Dancing, fighting, John Adams. Joe Pelone might even come and play some drums. Come have a time with us and celebrate another year of Science Club.

Wait For The Impending Colossal Doom


Science Club has tried to play roughly one show a month since 2.0 kicked off in July 2013 (more on that in a bit). By and large, we’ve stuck to it, or at least come close. Maybe we do two shows in January instead of one in February, some shit like that, but it’s all part of the plan to stay active, and we take it seriously.

We didn’t have a show lined up for June until a man from Korea named Nick reached out to us via Facebook and asked if we wanted to play something called Philly Freak Festival. Having no show lined up for the month, and want to spend as much time with freaks as possible. We said yes. And that is how we, a normal-ass punk band with nothing below the surface going on, ended up playing an Art Show.

When I saw we played an Art Show, I don’t mean we played at some gallery with painting and shit. What I mean is that we played a show with some honest-to-god musicians / insane people, trying to make motherfucking ART with their music, which is more or less the complete opposite of what we do (no one is getting a grant to be in Science Club, you know?).

So, considering we were the only punk band, and, considering that we really couldn’t fail, since we’d be totally out of place no matter how the show went, I decided to do something I rarely do and play drunk.

All in all, despite everything I just said, and despite what you assume happened, it was a pretty good show.


The venue was a bar located at 3rd and Girard in Fishtown, somewhat densely named 3rd and Girard. I’ll say this for the place: you’ll never forget where it is.

The bar is fine. It is a bar. It has a pool table. I got in a disagreement with the bartender about whether or not Red Stripe is a “summer beer” (even before I got drunk). The show was upstairs in a small room above the main bar, and, since that room as loaded with air conditioners going full blast, I loved it.

The first performer was a very nice man named Steven who, under his monicker oficiodetinieblas5, played some of the most upsetting music I’ve ever heard performed on a cello. He plugged his electric cello into this sound rig and proceeded to make some crunchy, dense, haunting sound collages that ended up feeling very cinematic and, in their own warped way, beautiful. I can’t say I want to hear it all the time, but two beers deep, it was striking. His music is here and you should listen at your own peril.

I really don’t know what to write about G.T. Arpe. Watching it was kind of like watching a puppet show for children, except we are all adults. At one point, everyone in the crowd was given plastic bottles with pennies in them and told to provide the drums for a song called “I Like Junk.” Nick, the one-man band that is G.T. Arpe, at one point in the show, put on gym shorts, had someone hold up a Nerf basketball hoop sang a song called “Slam Dunk,” which ends exactly the way you think it would. It was unbelieveably stupid, except it wasn’t, because nothing about it was insincere or self-aware. It was all fun for fun’s sake, and it totally worked on me.

Then again, I was drunk

So then it was our turn, and we actually played for longer than we usually do. We did 11 songs: 5 from Aging Punks, 1 cover, and 5 new songs that will likely be on an upcoming Science Club album. My voice was actually better than it usually is (my little brother in the Sexy Teenagers says he always gets drunk before he sings, because it makes him feel less conscious about his singing, which there might be some truth to). Playing the new songs was huge, because they all went pretty well. There’s a new one that Nick sings that is especially promising, and we dusted off a very old song and closed the show with it. It was pretty exciting, actually.

After our set, I watched Mike Amerika and ate some mozzarella sticks. I left the bar around 1 a.m., sober, tired and feeling sick from shitty cheese sticks. I didn’t really do anything freaky. Sorry, Freakfest.


There’s some stuff coming up that I want you to know about. A few shows with friends old a new, a radio spot I did for some station in Florida. Some news about our friends in the Sexy Teenagers. But the most exciting thing right now is that we’re in the beginning stages of planning to record an album this fall. It will likely be 10-12 songs, most all of them written within the last two years (except one, which I wrote about a million years ago but we never used it). It doesn’t have a name yet (I’m going to push for “Marathon,” but I’m not going to push that hard), and, if the lord is willing, it’ll come out better than our last album. But more on all that to come. For now, here’s the set list:

SETLIST (maybe. I was pretty loaded):

  • Modern Problems (Sad Song) NEW
  • Bad at Parties NEW
  • More than a Man
  • Beach Song (editor’s note: I really need to name this song something else) NEW
  • Dancing in the Dark
  • Blood Ghost
  • No Ghost
  • Marathon NEW
  • Free Pimp C
  • RPGs NEW (to you)


June 13: 3rd and Girard, Philly

May 31: Kungfu Necktie, Philly
May 24: Ding Dong Lounge, NYC
April 6: JRs Bar, Philly
April 5: ABC No Rio, NYC
April 4: Monirae’s, Syracuse
April 3: Bug Jar, Rochester
March 23: Voltage Lounge, Philly
March 1: The Troc, Philly
Jan 11: Lit Lounge, NYC
Jan 10: Voltage Lounge, Philly


Can We Please Take a Second Now?

I’ve referenced Frank’s Garage a few times on this blog. Those intimately familiar with the legend of Science Club know that Frank’s Garage is the nadir of the band’s existence. It was a show in which everything that could go wrong did, a show so bad that I seriously considered quitting the band and forgoing music altogether.

In retrospect, the colossal failures of the show were no one’s fault but our own, as they always are. The show, which was held in Frank’s detached garage in Montgomery County, was an unregulated, drunken DIY slopfest. We played with some garage-rock band I cannot remember and our eternal bro-dudes in Scatterbrain (back when they were still The Next Big Thing, not just now when they are the next big thing). As was Science Club’s style at the time, we had not practiced for the show outside of one, maybe two, hurried sessions in my Conshohocken basement and an unplugged practice in my living room.

(Looking back on it now, I can’t even fathom how we kept calling ourselves “a band” when we went roughly 15 months without playing a show, practicing at all, or even doing anything outside of occasionally getting together to play music in someone’s living room. We were such jerkoffs.)

Here is a picture of a much younger Science Club, totally fucking eating it in every regard, at Frank's Garage. Nick looks the same. Joe Pelone looks fantastic. I look like Lord of a Asshats. Jesus, even thinking about this show makes me sweat.

Here is a picture of a much younger Science Club, totally fucking eating it in every regard, at Frank’s Garage. Nick looks the same. Joe Pelone looks fantastic. I look like Lord of a Asshats. Jesus, even thinking about this show makes me sweat.

Rather than walk through every minute detail (both for your sake and for my own mental situation), I’ll just catalog every issue with the show.

  • Because it was being playing in a garage, the sound was very bad, both for the people listening to us and for us to communicate with each other what songs we were playing.
  • We played for 45 minutes which, at that point in our existence, is about 25 minutes too long for a band that doesn’t practice
  • We played mostly new songs (most of which have been recorded or chucked altogether). Please see the pervious bullet point for why that was an issue.
  • Right at the beginning of our cover of “Dancing the Dark,” which we can usually use to bring disinterested audiences back to our cause (which is often because, come on, we’re Science Club), I broke a sting. As a result, we played a 5-minute long, totally guitar-free version of the song.
  • Once the show was over, not a single person clapped. Everyone just continued talking, which is always the telltale sign that you just ate it hard.

Looking at it now, it really doesn’t seem that bad. In my memory, however, it is a big failure, an ever-present reminder that I ain’t shit and, if I don’t work hard and try my best, I will never even be a forgettable, pleasant entertainment, I will only be a joke everyone gets but me.

I write this because, a few weeks back, I had my worst performance since Frank’s Garage.


KungFu Necktie is a cool venue. It’s on Front Street, a block up and away from the Frankford Avenue corridor in Philadelphia, the number-one spot to be a cool young person in the city (at least right now. It’s quickly turning into Graduate Hospital 2.0, what with its writeups in The New York Times and its Brooklyn transplants and its bikes and its counter-culture casualties and all. Pennsport and Point Breeze is where cool shit 3.0 is likely going down. So ends this edition of “Nate’s Hyper-Specific Philadelphia Gentrification Breakdown.”). It regularly hosts top-notch metal and punk shows, drawing bands as buzzed as Japandroids and as criminally forgotten as Pilot to Gunner.

It also has an upstairs where scene punk bands can play. We were up there.

Playing upstairs at KFN is like playing a house party: the layout is kind of weird, there’s a dirty couch you can sit on if you’re brave, the “bar” is just a fridge with some pounders in it, and it’s so loud that even the dude with the neck tattoo will say “fuck, that’s loud.” It’s a perfect place for our bullshit.

The first band of the night was Cheerbleeder, who was playing their first show. I can’t find too much on the Internet about them, but they ripped. They sounded a little bit like, I don’t know, White Lung? If White Lung was a garage rock band? It’s hard to say, but it was cool. Their lead singer had some crazy moves: she did a lot of squatting, like she was trying to take a shit in the woods, and, at one point, did a move that Nike described as “being like a baby and making me uncomfortable.” They were loud and fast and great. Go see Cheerbleeder.

We also played with All Bad, which, upon further research, features members of The Weaks and Amanda X, which explains why they were so fucking great. All Bad is an example of what pop-punk can sound like when everyone in the band is simultaneously excellent at their instrument and not giving a shit about it. Listen to them here, and then check them out when you get a chance. They don’t know this yet, but I’m going to try and book another show with them this summer.

The linchpin of this whole operation was Rochester’s Secret Pizza, who were finishing up their tour in Philly. Secret Pizza is some space-rock wildness. They sound like Yo La Tengo. They sound like My Bloody Valentine. The sound like Sonic Youth. They sound like pot smoke. They sound like a guy who was an asshole to everyone before he had a formative acid experience, and now just wants to be friendly to everyone. Tim, the lead guitarman from Secret Pizza, set the whole show up, and was cool enough to include us (fun fact: Tim was the guy who booked us at The Bug Jar in Rochester). I liked them so much that I bought one of their tapes, and I don’t even listen to tapes. Go listen to Secret Pizza now, please.

As for Science Club, we did fine as a band. We tried this thing where we played without a set list because it was cool in practice the week before, but it really didn’t work live. No one know if they should clap, or when they should clap, and while it was cool when everyone went nuts at the end of the set, there were a few moments when I was tuning my guitar or whatever when everyone was just standing quietly in a small room, and that was … uncomfortable.

Nick and Joe did great, per usual. Nick got to borrow someone’s bass amp, so his bass sounded great. Joey nailed all the drum parts. I sucked a big fat ass. Broke a string 1 song in. Blew my voice out like King Dipshit on the second song. Put new strings on my guitar that were a gauge too light, so strings kept jumping out of their correct lane and merging with other strings. Basically, I sounded like total shit, and, since there are only three of us in the band in the first place, I brought the team down. No one seemed to notice, which has now made me afraid that I sound like shit all the time.

Still and all, it was a good show. I saw some great bands. I got to see Tim, who is high in the running for “Friendliest Guy.” The booker at KFN is going to work with us again. We sold one of our dumb shirts and a few of our dumb CDs. I was kind of an asshat, but whatever. Our ride to the middle continues.

Setlist (maybe. This show was 2 weeks ago and I don’t remember)

  • Molly
  • More Than a Man
  • Song in the Sea
  • Beach Song
  • Pimp C
  • Blood Ghost
  • Train in Vain
  • A Future Sure to Come

May 31: Kungfu Necktie, Philly
May 24: Ding Dong Lounge, NYC
April 6: JRs Bar, Philly
April 5: ABC No Rio, NYC
April 4: Monirae’s, Syracuse
April 3: Bug Jar, Rochester
March 23: Voltage Lounge, Philly
March 1: The Troc, Philly
Jan 11: Lit Lounge, NYC
Jan 10: Voltage Lounge, Philly

I Don’t Have the Guts to Kick Him Out

How do you get to Ding Dong Lounge? Practice.

How do you get to Ding Dong Lounge? Practice.


Science Club played a day set at Ding Dong Lounge in New York City on Saturday, and, if you definition of “success” is as loose as ours is, the show was another success.

Here are the important facts and a figures from the show:

First and foremost: it is not lost on me how apropos it is that Science Club, basically just a walking pratfall in band form, is playing a place called Ding Dong Lounge.

We got the gig through our bros in Hopeless Otis, who booked the show, promoted the show, then bailed on the show because sometimes life is cruel and times can be hard. Then, like a Phoenix rising from Andrew Jackson Jihad, Larry from Hopeless Otis showed up anyway to watch the gig. He’s a goddamn prince and you chodes should buy one of their records. Larry tells me they’re planning a summer tour down the east coast, so if you have a chance to see ‘em, take it.

Chris Andrews from One Mighty Ugly Backpack booked and promoted the show. Chris, I found out, does One Mighty Ugly Backpack all by himself, which is nuts considering he books roughly 2 shows a week. I threw one show in my backyard last year and nearly had a panic attack, so I don’t know how Chris is able to be such a cool, friendly, supportive dude. If you’re in a band and you want to play, I suggest you look him up, because he’s one of the good guys. Also, he’s coming to Philadelphia in the next few weeks. Be there, ya dinks.

I need to apologize to Rick Rocker, who played after us at ol’ Ding Dongs. There comes a point in every set where someone (me) needs to tune their instrument or someone (me) needs to catch their breath or someone (me) needs to buy a beer or someone (me) needs to change a broken string. When this inevitbily happens (and it always happens), a good way to kill time is to shout out the other bands on the bill and to tell people to stick around for the next act. I usually do this by saying something like “thanks, y’all. Stick around for Rick Rocker, he’s gonna be great.” Pretty tame, right? Well, Saturday, I went a little off book and said, “stick around for Rick Rocker, he’s going to suck your dick.”

I know. Not great. Rick took my bawdy attitude in stride, but the second I said it, I realized that it was not something one person should say about a stranger’s music and expect that stranger to understand that it was intended as a compliment. So, yeah, I’m kind of a fucker. Sorry, Rick. I don’t mean to be.

We got paid! Why do people keep doing that? I don’t know how much, because it was a pass-the-hat kind of show and we just took a grip of money out of a bucket and handed it to Joey for safekeeping, but it’s still nice to have money to put toward being in this dumb band. If you never see him again, you now know why.

We sold some merch! No idea how much, but I’m told one person paid $20 for our EP, which is complete batshit madness. Thanks, whichever loony toon did that. I love you more than any other.

That’s not true. I love my cousin Emily and her fiance Joel, too, for coming to the show like sweet, decent people. Kudos as well to Greg and Auntie Lo for making the trip out to watch us hump around and sing songs about not being good enough.

So, yeah, it was a good show. I hope we play Ding Dong’s Lounge again soon, it’s a great place. We’ve got a show coming up in Philly on Saturday, but I’ll save that for another day.



  • Train in Vain
  • Molly
  • Steal Your Shit
  • Pimp C
  • Beach Song
  • Blood Ghost
  • Sad Song
  • SEI
  • Song in the Sea
  • A Future Sure to Come

May 24: Ding Dong Lounge, NYC

April 6: Jrs Bar

April 5: ABC No Rio, NYC

April 4: Monirae’s, Syracuse

April 3: Bug Jar, Rochester

March 23: Voltage Lounge

March 1: The Trocadero

Jan 11: Lit Lounge, NYC

Jan 10: Voltage Lounge


Today More than Any Other Day

Christ, this shit again.

Christ, this shit again.

Ah, spring. A time when a young man’s fancy turns to watching three men in their late 20s sweat and yell.

That’s right, motherlovers, Science Club is not only still a band, it is playing shows soon. Shows that might be happening near you, assuming you live on the east coast in the New York City area.

Here’s what is going down, how it’s going down, and … uh, why? Why it’s going down? I don’t know, I haven’t had enough coffee yet.

Both these shows are a direct result of the recent This is So Dumb tour, which we won’t shut the fuck about despite its taking place over a month ago. The Ding Dong Lounge show (HOW GREAT IS THAT NAME?) was gifted to us by our new friends, Hopeless Otis. Originally, the show was going to be a two-headed attack of melodic punk between us and HoO, but they had to drop out of the show because they have families or whatever. Instead, it’s gonna be us and these so-and-sos.

Additionally, the show is at 2 in the afternoon and it is free as a bird, so that means you can get totally day drunk using the funds that would otherwise go to the door. You could also buy a handsome and sexy Science Club shirt.

The facebook event for that one is here, and if you wanna go click on that and tell everyone how great we are, I won’t be upset.

The show at KungFu Necktie is thanks to Tim in Secret Pizza, who also books at The BugJar, a fine Rochester, NY rock-and-roll establishment. Tim was there on the opening night of the tour and, even after seeing what we do, was still inclined to book us a show at one of Philly’s cool people bars. Needless to say, we’re excited.

So that’s what the deal is. Science Club continues to Science Club around. Hope you can make one of these here shows.

This is What Happened On the Science Club Tour

It’s been about a week since the end of the Science Club / Sexy Teenagers / Pastries tour, affectionately dubbed (by me) the “This Is So Dumb” tour. I’m still not sure what to say about it. Here’s the background, I guess.

Let me start here: we had a lot of fun. Like, a lot of fun.

People need to be thanked, and at the risk of turning this blog post into liner notes (meaningful only if you see your name mentioned, tedious under all other circumstances), I’m going to try and remember them all here. If I missed you, I’m deeply sorry. A lot was happening, and I can’t remember it all.

Thank you to Envious Disguise for opening the Rochester show and playing “Hybrid Moments” during your set. It motivated us to play “Where Eagles Dare,” a song I think we’ve practiced once in 2014.

Thank you to Sarah, who shows up under a different name in the first ever Science Club song, for coming to watch. I’m sorry my parents didn’t recognize you. I hope you get that new job. I hope life gets easier for you. I always like seeing you, and am glad that you are doing as well as you are. Thanks for letting me play Nintendo in your living room.

Thanks to the people in Rochester who knew the words to some of our songs. That felt incredible.


Thanks to Lucky 33 for putting together the Pennellville, NY show, far and away one of the strangest, most endearing shows I have ever played in my music life. Playing Monirae’s is like playing a hunting lodge. It was a singular experience and I’m stoked you guys let us be a part of it. Fun fact: the bar we played also hosted Trapt, they of “Headstrong” fame. If that isn’t some shit to tell your grand kids, I don’t know what is.

Thanks to Red from Lucky 33 and, more specifically, thanks to Born Again Savages for making me feel like an asshole that I ever thought 28 was too old for punk. If I’m half as impressive as Born Again Savages are in 15 years, I will be a lucky man. Sometimes I get caught up in these antiquated ideas of what “being an adult” and “acting my age” is supposed to look like. Having people like you around remind me not be such a full-of-my-own-shit nightmare. More on this point later.

A hearty Fuck You to the dude working the New York State Thruway Burger King at about 3:30 a.m., somewhere outside Utica. You have a shitty job, I don’t deny it. I’ve worked shitty jobs like yours. You didn’t need to be such a fucker. You made that choice. I’m sorry life has put you in a place that you have to sell Red Bull to sleepy travelers, but even within that framework, there is room to be happy. You chose to be a cocksucker. So be it. I’m sorry.


Thanks to the buff, handsome bartender at the Mexican restaurant across from ABC No Rio in Manhattan for buying us a round of drinks. We were far too underwashed for your restaurant, and it was cool of you to extend that olive branch to us sweaty sacks. Sorry we never came back.

Thank you to ABC No Rio for being such a great place. People aren’t just going to rock and roll clubs to see music anymore, so the fact that a place like ABC No Rio, which is just a room that people come to for punk shows, is remarkable, and only able to happen because of a tight-knit community. Thank you for sharing that with us. I know there are fewer of us around the fire now. That just means you have to hold whoever remains even tighter to stay warm. Go to there if you can, it’s a special place.

Thanks to Hopeless Otis for the following reasons: playing ABC No Rio with us, playing JR’s Bar the next night at the drop of hat, doing a CD swap with us, being such positive, fun dudes, swapping shirts with the Sexy Teenagers, talking about community and meaning it. I hope you guys make millions of dollars, or, failing that, get a good writeup on Punknews. I’m sure we’ll see you again.


Thanks to JR’s Bar for being the best fucking punk rock place in Philadelphia. The amount of time I’ve spent sweating and shouting in that dive is remarkable and indefensible. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

Thanks to The Pastries. It was great watching you every day, great watching you get more comfortable as you played, great to buy soap from Matt. I hope you guys put out more music, because this isn’t enough for me. Watching strangers dance to your hits was one of the best parts of the tour.

Thanks to Drew for throwing up in Rochester, then disappearing to walk to Friendly’s in the morning. Your status as a man of mystery is cemented in legend and will never subside.

Thanks to Matt for doing this thing with us. You are clearly, obviously, glaringly too big time for this tour, and having you on it not only made us all feel a little more legitimate, but it made us smell better, too (buy some soap, you savages). You were much more kind than could have been expected, and yet. Thanks so much.

Thanks to Justin. I’m not going to get into it again, but I’ve never been more jealous of a songwriter that I personally know.


Thanks to the Sexy Teenagers (or, as Joey D called them all tour to my great delight, “The Sexys”) for doing this with us. Thanks for not being too hard-partying, for driving most of the time, for making us laugh, for playing punk in the van, for singing along to all our songs, for working the merch table, for helping us book the tour, for wanting to do it again, for treating us well. Couldn’t and wouldn’t have done it without you. I love you assholes. Buy their CD, alright?

Thanks for anyone who fed us, lodged us, bought a CD, bought a shirt or took a pin.

Thanks to everyone who sang happy birthday to me.

Thanks to Ray Ray, for taking these absurd photos of us.



I have a full-time office job, a girlfriend I am crazy about, a car, a rental payment and various other trappings of what I have always, always, ALWAYS considered to be an “adult” life. In my head, I’ve always thought of “adult” as the same thing as “successful.” I thought, if I’m still 28 and just playing in a band and working some shit band, I will have become a casualty, another person Rock and Roll lied to. Fuck that. After this tour, being at work seems a little less vibrant. I’d leave again tomorrow if I could. Forget being “an adult.” This was so fun, I considered quitting my job, getting a retail job at Staples and doing this once a season. I don’t think I will, but I considered it strongly. This was unlike anything I’ve ever done. It destroyed my voice (one more thank you, to Nick, for singing lead at Jrs), robbed me of nutrients, and almost killed me somewhere between Syracuse and Schenectady. It was the most fun I’ve had in years.

Science Club Forever,



  • April 6: JR’s Bar w/ the Sexy Teenagers, The Pastries, Hopeless Otis
  • April 5: ABC No Rio w/ the Sexy Teenagers, The Pastries, Hopeless Otis
  • April 4: Monirae’s w/ the Sexy Teenagers, The Pastries, Lucky 33, Born Again Savages
  • April 3: The Bug Jar w/ the Sexy Teenagers, The Pastries, Envious Disguise
  • March 22: Voltage Lounge
  • March 1: The Trocadero
  • Jan 11: The Lit Lounge
  • Jan 10: Voltage Lounge

Everything You Need To Know About the Science Club Tour


Science Club is going on tour next week.

Let me write that sentence again, in case it isn’t sinking in. You are forgiven for thinking that, maybe, I typed something wrong, or I am playing an early April Fool’s day joke, or I’m just flat out lying to you.

Science Club is going on tour next week. It’s going to be so dumb. It’s going to be so great.

As far as tours go, this isn’t a big one. Even if you look at through the lens of self-booked, go-nowhere regional punk bands, which is totally the correct lens to look at this tour through, it isn’t really anything to write home out. Three bands are playing four cities in four days. Thursday to Sunday. Basically an out-and-back.

That’s not how to look at it, though, not really. You’ve got to look at it is both a labor of love and an act of supreme triumph, because that’s really what it is.

Let me tell you about it.

Part 1) Find Myself a City to Live In


Here’s how the tour looks, with dates and all:

  • Thursday, April 3: Rochester, NY, @ The Bug Jar
  • Friday, April 4: Syracuse, NY, @ Monirae’s
  • Saturday, April 5: New York City, NY, @ ABC No Rio
  • Sunday, April 6: Philadelphia, PA, @ JRs Bar

The first thing to notice is that a lot of these dates, approximately half of them, are taking place in upstate New York rust best cities. There’s a perfectly good, perfectly boring reason for that, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like playing at places like this. I’ve long had a fascination with places built on industry, and how those places have carried on once industry leaves. Then you’ve got Syracuse, which is a town trying to build its modern foundation on the bones of a fallen titan. If you can’t admire the spirit in that, the idea of making a home out of ash in a place of ash, then I don’t understand why you’d listen to Science Club at all. This band is all about taking things that are shitty and trying to survive. We are a rust belt city.

The Rochester show is a special one for me, since it will make the first time I’ve played my birth city with a full band since I was 19 years old. Shouts out to Frank Burns, but I’d like to think I’m coming back better than I left. It’s not really my city anymore (in fact, it never really was. I left when I was 18, long before I ever spent any time downtown), but it means a lot to me to come to it and play some punk music. I’m going to be weird at that show. Sorry, everyone.

The New York show is special, too, because it is a day time, all-ages punk show, which, if you listen to Nick, is the kind of show we should have been playing all along. He’s totally right, of course. I can’t expect my friends with children and mortgages to enjoy a pop-punk band who writes sounds about not being good enough. Teens, though? Oh man, that’s teen bread-and-butter. I’m really excited about that NYC show.

It’s my birthday, too. I might get a tattoo.

Philly? Well, tour’s gotta end somewhere. Since we’re from Philly, it makes sense. Also, I love JR’s Bar more than you love your favorite bar, but I already told you about that.

2) These Are the People that I Group Together

The bands going on this tour with us are as follows: The Sexy Teenagers, The Pastries, and Hopeless Otis.

I don’t know a ton about Hopeless Otis. I found them on the Internet somewhere, they are from New York, and their songs really blew me away. They seem to be trying to pick up where Latterman left off. They make positive, feel-good punk for the bad times, and I think they’re gonna blow the doors off ABC No Rio. I’m going to buy one of their shirts, for sure.

Playing with The Pastries is great for me. The band has formed from the bones of two of my all-time favorite Philly bands, J.Fox and Algernon Cadwallader. A lot of digital ink has been spilled talking about how wonderful Algernon Cadwallader is, so I don’t feel the need to rehash it here. Suffice to say, if you aren’t familiar, you should get familiar.

J. Fox, however, largely went unheralded in its prime. The band was a three piece from Bensalem, PA, and they made some of the weirdest, shortest, most cleverly-worded, charmingly strange rock music I’ve ever heard (full disclosure: Science Club drummer Joey is a former member of J. Fox). Listening to J. Fox felt, to me, felt special and present the same way I imagine hearing Pavement in 1993 or Modest Mouse in 1994 felt to tiny crowds in nowhere rock clubs. When they played, it felt like an event. It felt like something was happening. They disbanded, for whatever reason, and, for a time, a great rock and roll voice was lost. So having it come back in the Pastries, and having the chance to hear them four times in a row, and to expose them to a new group of people, means the world to me.

The Sexy Teenagers. What can I even say about them? They’re the silliest drunk-punks around and they’re going to be incredible. They are the co-headliner for this tour, and without them, there likely wouldn’t be a tour at all. The band is fronted by my little brother John, and I can’t even really explain what it means to me to be playing on a tour with my brother. I could try, but you wouldn’t get it and I wouldn’t do a good job. Suffice to say, it’s important, and I can’t believe how I lucky I am that it gets to happen.

With this team assembled, we cannot fail.

3) Where Did All The Money Go?



We’re selling our first-ever pressing of our latest EP, Aging Punks, at all the tour stops. We’ve got 100 CDs. I predict we will come home with 90 CDs.

The other thing we’ve got is t-shirts. There are only 20 of them and, if there is any luck in the world, we will come back with none of them. Rochester is probably going to buy them all on the first night of the tour, because Rochester goes deep.

4) Do You Like My Party Ticks?

We’re going to play some new songs on this tour. They might be on an EP that gets recorded later this year. They might be on an album that gets recorded later this year. You might never hear them again. I don’t really know what’s happening with them yet. We’ve got ‘em, and we’re going to play ‘em. If they stink, let us know. If they’re good, keep it to yourself.

If this goes well, I want to book another one. We’ll see.

I promise you this: we will not write a tour song about this. Nick has a song about traveling, but we will not write a song about being on tour. We aren’t Good Charlotte.

So that’s about it.


Thanks to ABC No Rio, JRs Bar, The Bug Jar and Monirae’s for letting us play at these places.

Thanks to John and the Sexy Teens for helping us book the Upstate NY part of the tour.

Thanks to our jobs for letting us take two days of from work to act like we’re 21.

Thanks to everyone who bought an online copy of Aging Punks, because that money helped us practice for these shows.

Thanks to everyone who came to the Trocadero show, because that ticket money allowed us to make shirts and CDs.


This is so dumb. This is going to be so fun.


I Know What I Want To Say But I Can’t Get it Out

trocstageI don’t think I’ve ever articulated it before, but after every Science Club show, I take stock of the performance and consider if we should be a band or not.

After our worst show, the massacre at Frank’s garage in Montgomery County, I had real reservations about being in a punk band. I left that show pretty convinced that we were, at best, a bad band that shouldn’t keep playing shows. I strongly considered quitting the band after Frank’s garage.

After most shows, like our recent run at the Voltage Lounge or the Lit Lounge, I come off stage thinking that we at least deserve the right to continue being a band. These shows, which are 90 percent of all out shows, leave me hopeful about our chances of developing as songwriters and confident that we can find a way to write songs that we like (and that, hopefully, could appeal to others).

After Saturday’s show at the Trocadero, far and away the largest and most-attended show of Science Club’s brief and stupid existence, I felt not only that we should keep making music, but that we were a good band. Science Club is a good band, and I’ve got the proof because I was there.


From a technical standpoint, the show was kind of a disaster. About five seconds into our first song, Nick blew through his bass strap, almost dropping his instrument right out of the gate. Our friend Joe called it “the most Science Club thing that could have happened,” and he’s kind of right. I’ll touch on that more in a second.

Not long after that, I myself blasted through my own guitar strap. So, for those keeping score at home, that’s two guitar straps in less than 10 minutes. Later in the set, my guitar pedal died mid-song, leaving Nick and Joey to play a bass-and-drum version of one of our new songs. After that, I blew through yet another guitar strap, bringing our band total to three and making for our most error-ridden show to date.

Here’s the thing about all that, though: even when everything started going belly up from the jump, we were never out of control or panicked. I don’t say that to brag, but just as a statement of fact. We were too jacked up about playing a real stage, too excited about our songs, too practiced to let something as little as “not being able to stand and play our instruments” hold us back. We had a plan and we followed through on it, and nothing short of physical harm was going to stop us, because this wasn’t just some other show at a dive bar. This was a chance to prove that we belonged, that we could entertain a room full of strangers, that we are a thing. We acquitted ourselves nicely. Call it bragging if you want to, but fuck it: we’re a real band, and we’re good at what we do.


A great deal of thanks has to go to any number of people. Steve from Mantis, the promoter / booker for the show, was an excellent guy to work with. He was up front and professional from start to finish, going so far as to scramble to help me find a guitar strap when my second one blew off my body. I would book a show with him and Mantis again in a heart beat. Thanks must also go to Mobius Trip, who volunteered to let us use their drum set and was very supportive while we were on stage.

The most thanks, of course, has to go to our friends and family, many of whom came from parts far and wide, who supported us at this show. A very, very large part of why this show was successful can be directly attributed to loved ones offering up their money and their Saturday night to watch what very well could have been a train wreck. I have rarely felt more supported in my life. To those who could make it out, I thank you a hundred times over. You are noticed. You are appreciated.

Breaking a strap seconds into the first song of an 11 song set is, in fact, the most Science Club thing ever. For a while, being Science Club meant trying to have fun, not taking ourselves seriously, sloppily fucking up and trying hard to not be boring. It still means all those things, I think, but after Saturday, it means something more. We’re not like we used to be. We’re better. I’m going to keep breaking strings and straps. Nick and I are going to sing flat and out of key at times. Joey is going to miss his fills on occasion. It isn’t going to matter. We’re going to be fine.

I’ve never been more excited to be in this dumb band. Our tour is going to be great (oh yeah, we’re going on tour. More on that later).

Science Club forever.