Look, I don’t have to tell you, one of the four or five people who look at this blog, that Science Club is the best show on four wheels. If you are reading this thing, you already know the deal: at our best, we’re the best live band since mid 80s Van Halen and at our worst we’re like the Replacements in the late 70s ( and if those references are lost on you then you’ve got bigger problems than a punk show). Either way, you get something worth watching. I mean, come on! I make all kinds of faces! Nick jumps and dances and stuff! Joe yells a little and also makes silly faces! He turns as red as a beet!
To recap: Science Club is dope.
However, I understand that not everyone feels the same way. And, you know, part of me says “Fuck ‘em.” Then again, another, larger, part of me says, “Look, do you really want to play a show to no one? That shit feels like being punched in the stomach.”
So, without further ado, here is five reasons to see Science Club in Doylestown on Friday:
1) There’s gonna be Merch: Merch, you fucks, MERCH! We’re going to have shodily-made goods that allow you physical proof that you like Science Club. You like CDs? Shit yeah, we’ll have some DIY CDs. Shirts? Man, we’ll sell you the WORST HOME-MADE SHIRT ever. You like buttons? Of course not, on one does, but we’re gonna have ‘em.
2) There’s gonna be new songs: Have you heard “Street Justice?” What about “Dubstep Remix?” When’s the last time you heard us play “Us?” That’s right, never!
3) Mugs on Main is apparently a good time: This bar lets you smoke inside of it! The Orininal Marta drummer Joey told me, IN PERSON, that this bar is a good place for some grime. He’s been to Cleveland, folks. He knows the score.
4) Siren Records?: I know it’s somewhere in Doylestown. We can go get some casingles after the show, maybe?
5) Nearly every band at this show is connected to Whole Foods: Groceries!
I think I’ve made my point here.
Oh, shit! Wait! There’s one more reason
6) It could be Joe’s wedding present.
Either way, it should be a party. We’re either going to knock it out of the park or make it so Joe can’t show his face at work.