I Don’t Have the Guts to Kick Him Out

How do you get to Ding Dong Lounge? Practice.

How do you get to Ding Dong Lounge? Practice.


Science Club played a day set at Ding Dong Lounge in New York City on Saturday, and, if you definition of “success” is as loose as ours is, the show was another success.

Here are the important facts and a figures from the show:

First and foremost: it is not lost on me how apropos it is that Science Club, basically just a walking pratfall in band form, is playing a place called Ding Dong Lounge.

We got the gig through our bros in Hopeless Otis, who booked the show, promoted the show, then bailed on the show because sometimes life is cruel and times can be hard. Then, like a Phoenix rising from Andrew Jackson Jihad, Larry from Hopeless Otis showed up anyway to watch the gig. He’s a goddamn prince and you chodes should buy one of their records. Larry tells me they’re planning a summer tour down the east coast, so if you have a chance to see ’em, take it.

Chris Andrews from One Mighty Ugly Backpack booked and promoted the show. Chris, I found out, does One Mighty Ugly Backpack all by himself, which is nuts considering he books roughly 2 shows a week. I threw one show in my backyard last year and nearly had a panic attack, so I don’t know how Chris is able to be such a cool, friendly, supportive dude. If you’re in a band and you want to play, I suggest you look him up, because he’s one of the good guys. Also, he’s coming to Philadelphia in the next few weeks. Be there, ya dinks.

I need to apologize to Rick Rocker, who played after us at ol’ Ding Dongs. There comes a point in every set where someone (me) needs to tune their instrument or someone (me) needs to catch their breath or someone (me) needs to buy a beer or someone (me) needs to change a broken string. When this inevitbily happens (and it always happens), a good way to kill time is to shout out the other bands on the bill and to tell people to stick around for the next act. I usually do this by saying something like “thanks, y’all. Stick around for Rick Rocker, he’s gonna be great.” Pretty tame, right? Well, Saturday, I went a little off book and said, “stick around for Rick Rocker, he’s going to suck your dick.”

I know. Not great. Rick took my bawdy attitude in stride, but the second I said it, I realized that it was not something one person should say about a stranger’s music and expect that stranger to understand that it was intended as a compliment. So, yeah, I’m kind of a fucker. Sorry, Rick. I don’t mean to be.

We got paid! Why do people keep doing that? I don’t know how much, because it was a pass-the-hat kind of show and we just took a grip of money out of a bucket and handed it to Joey for safekeeping, but it’s still nice to have money to put toward being in this dumb band. If you never see him again, you now know why.

We sold some merch! No idea how much, but I’m told one person paid $20 for our EP, which is complete batshit madness. Thanks, whichever loony toon did that. I love you more than any other.

That’s not true. I love my cousin Emily and her fiance Joel, too, for coming to the show like sweet, decent people. Kudos as well to Greg and Auntie Lo for making the trip out to watch us hump around and sing songs about not being good enough.

So, yeah, it was a good show. I hope we play Ding Dong’s Lounge again soon, it’s a great place. We’ve got a show coming up in Philly on Saturday, but I’ll save that for another day.



  • Train in Vain
  • Molly
  • Steal Your Shit
  • Pimp C
  • Beach Song
  • Blood Ghost
  • Sad Song
  • SEI
  • Song in the Sea
  • A Future Sure to Come

May 24: Ding Dong Lounge, NYC

April 6: Jrs Bar

April 5: ABC No Rio, NYC

April 4: Monirae’s, Syracuse

April 3: Bug Jar, Rochester

March 23: Voltage Lounge

March 1: The Trocadero

Jan 11: Lit Lounge, NYC

Jan 10: Voltage Lounge



Today More than Any Other Day

Christ, this shit again.

Christ, this shit again.

Ah, spring. A time when a young man’s fancy turns to watching three men in their late 20s sweat and yell.

That’s right, motherlovers, Science Club is not only still a band, it is playing shows soon. Shows that might be happening near you, assuming you live on the east coast in the New York City area.

Here’s what is going down, how it’s going down, and … uh, why? Why it’s going down? I don’t know, I haven’t had enough coffee yet.

Both these shows are a direct result of the recent This is So Dumb tour, which we won’t shut the fuck about despite its taking place over a month ago. The Ding Dong Lounge show (HOW GREAT IS THAT NAME?) was gifted to us by our new friends, Hopeless Otis. Originally, the show was going to be a two-headed attack of melodic punk between us and HoO, but they had to drop out of the show because they have families or whatever. Instead, it’s gonna be us and these so-and-sos.

Additionally, the show is at 2 in the afternoon and it is free as a bird, so that means you can get totally day drunk using the funds that would otherwise go to the door. You could also buy a handsome and sexy Science Club shirt.

The facebook event for that one is here, and if you wanna go click on that and tell everyone how great we are, I won’t be upset.

The show at KungFu Necktie is thanks to Tim in Secret Pizza, who also books at The BugJar, a fine Rochester, NY rock-and-roll establishment. Tim was there on the opening night of the tour and, even after seeing what we do, was still inclined to book us a show at one of Philly’s cool people bars. Needless to say, we’re excited.

So that’s what the deal is. Science Club continues to Science Club around. Hope you can make one of these here shows.